Let’s Celebrate the Clitoris
Today is the climax of International Clitoris Awareness Week. And to celebrate, I have erected a monument in admiration of the organ responsible for the orgasms of half of the world. Make that 100% if you consider that both female and male sexual organs are one and the same until two weeks after conception. Many are surprised to learn about the many striking similarities between the penis and the clitoris.
The clitoris is certainly the most intriguing organ. It is the only organ whose sole purpose is producing pleasure, and the pursuit of pleasure is intimately linked with the purpose of life.
Until recently, it was commonly believed that the clitoris resembled a small button above the vaginal opening. But in fact, the clitoris more closely resembles a bird–or an angel if you will–with two sets of wings that emerge from its divine head. Its size, believe it or not, is comparable to a small penis.
The divine angel-head of the clitoris is quite similar to the glans or “mushroom head” of the penis. Both the clitoris and penis become erect upon arousal. That is to say that both become enlarged as a result of the increase in bloodflow when stimulated. In females, a clitoral hood hides and protects the most sensitive tip. In males, a foreskin has the same role, though it is often removed during circumcision.
Female genital mutilation is considered a heinous act by most westerners, but it is all too common in parts of africa and the middle east. I would argue that genital mutilation should be outlawed for both genders, as it removes the most sensitive part of the body, most often without their consent, which undermines that person’s freedom and right to experience optimal pleasure.
It is often stated that the clitoral head contains about 8,000 nerve endings, compared to about 5,000 in the entire penis. But I believe the total number of pleasurable nerve endings in both sexes to be higher, if we were to include the clitoral hood and foreskin.
About 80% of women say they have only ever experienced orgasm from direct stimulation of the clitoral head, whether by manual or oral stimulation. 18% say they have reached orgasm through vaginal penetration without clitoral stimulation. But these “vaginal” or “G-Spot” orgasms are indeed linked to the clitoris, because the angel-wings I described earlier are inextricably connected to her vaginal walls. I can confirm the existence of the so-called G-spot through my own experience… it has a distinct and dynamic texture that is unmistakable. But in fact this magical pump-like tissue is but another part of the incredible clitoris!
Both women and men need to better understand and appreciate the commendable clitoris.
Prepare your Tribute
If you are fortunate enough to have a clitoris in front of you right now, please give it the love that it deserves. Here is how to prepare for a night of exploration and sacred pleasure: First, clean the entire bedroom and bathroom, draw a bubble bath, and light scented candles or turn on an electric aromatherapy diffuser. Prepare a playlist with several hours of music. A single album will never be enough. You can even use your playlist to pace yourself: you’ll need at least two hours of soft instrumental music to get those juices flowing. Then add another album with a bit more rythym. A couple more albums with some intense rhythms. Instrumental music is often the best choice, or perhaps some world music with lyrics that neither understands. All parties must remember to urinate before entering the bedroom. Otherwise, she will feel the need to pee just as she’s about to orgasm, and the mere thought of it will sabotage her climax.
How to Worship the Clitoris
Approach the clitoris and the entire vulva with the utmost respect and admiration at all times. Lovingly observe its unique beauty. Describe it to her with sensuous details. Gently caress it and honour it with thousands of soft kisses all over. Go s-l-o-w-l-y; There is absolutely no rush. Remember, you have prepared two hours of soft instrumental music for this purpose.
Once that soft music has played its course, you can take things up a notch. Only increase your speed or intensity when the clitoris begs for it. Even then, build your speed and pressure gradually. Simultaneously stimulate multiple angles of the clitoris, including the G-spot (the underbelly of the clitoris on the inside front wall of the vagina) with a finger or two. Push on the G-spot firmly and slowly. The G-spot is a pump. As you push down, you are pushing the blood out of the G-spot. Allow the blood to flow back in before pushing again. You will find that this happens faster and faster as her excitement grows.
Once you get to the part of your playlist that contains the most intense rhythms, you should synchronize your movements with the base drum of the music. This will give her the experience of being completely emersed in pleasure, as though the entire universe is conspiring to please her.
Continue this until she experiences a mind-blowing full-body squirting orgasm. She will likely have several smaller orgasms before getting to this point. Do not stop until she has squirted about a liter of ejaculate. If she’s vegan, it will have a light, pleasant taste. If she is raw vegan, it will be sweet like a melon. Your entire face should be covered in her delicious cum, minus the part that you joyously swallowed. If this is her first time squirting, you will have helped her attain the next level of consciousness. Celebrate by doing it again. That’s right, there is no limit to the amount of divine sexual pleasure that you can give to your goddess.